Emotional Wellness - The Key to Wholeness of Body, Mind, and Spirit
William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.

Emotion, Health, and the Global Scene
Expressing love and appreciation is good for your heart. Anger and frustration impair its functioning. Positive emotional expression and creativity can keep your brain healthier longer, while increasing your joy level and relationship fulfillment. Faith and optimism strengthen the immune system and depression depletes it.

A growing body of research supports the above and similar assertions. Through these and other studies found at http://www.heartmath.com/, we are becoming increasingly aware of the presence, power, and impact of emotion on our health and wellness. On a global scale, we have perhaps never been more acutely aware of the devastation caused by fear and anger and the desperate need for love, compassion, and wisdom. We might do well to ask ourselves how we got here and what we need to do about it, personally and professionally.

The Education We Did Not Receive
Historically, most cultures have neglected the need to understand, manage, and express emotions in healthy ways. Standard educational programs, for example, do not teach:

1. What emotions are and how they develop
2. The function and purpose of each emotion
3. How to manage and express emotions in healthy ways
4. How to build emotionally safe and intimate relationships
5. The relationship between our emotions, our health, and our spiritual development.

As a direct result of this deficit in life preparedness, we see inordinate and unnecessary incidents of depression, violence, suicide, and relationship dysfunction in children and adults alike. We are increasingly aware of the threat these difficulties pose for our physical health and well-being.

A Model for an Emotional Wellness Program
Education
An effective and comprehensive emotional wellness program necessarily begins with education regarding the emotional development process we all experience as human beings.

The first priority is to understand that we were naturally designed to be loving, joyful beings. This provides an experience of comfort and reassurance, and contributes to self-esteem.

The simple knowledge that it is normal and healthy to feel sad, hurt, afraid and angry can also relieve tremendous stress in individuals of all ages.

Seeing the step-by-step process that takes us through primary emotional development into defense mechanisms and adaptive responses provides a basic understanding of how we got to be the way we are today.

The educational phase is completed with the presentation of a model for inner work and self-discovery, leading finally to a dynamic image of emotional wellness, wisdom, and spiritual maturity.
Experiential learning and skill development
When we have established a basic level of emotional literacy, we are ready to learn the personal and interpersonal skills necessary for promoting and maintaining emotional wellness. Understanding healthy emotional expression requires that we distinguish between release and communication—a distinction that unfortunately is rarely made. The failure to differentiate between emotional release and effective communication may be seen as the cause of much of the conflict and miscommunication we see around us every day.

Emotional release skills include a variety of exercises and activities that do not necessarily require the presence of another person. Physical posturing and vocal release, movement, journaling, creative expression, grief work, humor, play, prayer, and meditation are some of the skills that fall into this category.
Healthy communication skills bring relationships into the process, and encompass a broad and extensive range of methodologies. The two areas of focus include:

1. Navigating difficult territory where anger, fear, and misunderstanding are present

2. Forming connections, expanding empathy and resolving issues to improve ongoing communication processes in personal and professional settings. The most important skills include:

Storytelling
Developing empathy
Creating emotional safety
Expressing love and appreciation
Problem solving and negotiation

The Role of Spirituality in Emotional Wellness
Without a positive spiritual focus of some kind, the consistent choice of compassion, faith and optimism over fear, anger and pessimism is virtually impossible. The emotions of love and fear are powerful energies that permeate all spiritual and religious teachings throughout human history. We are now beginning to understand that to be healthy, we need spiritual beliefs that:

1. Provide a container of understanding and compassion for the negative emotions of sorrow, fear, and anger.

2. Enhance and strengthen our capacity for love, joy, exuberance and peace.

Emotional wellness provides a bridge that connects us—body, mind and spirit. It is time we take full responsibility for this dimension of our human experience, and transform it from adversary to ally. In so doing, we will bring much needed wisdom, health, and balance to our individual and collective global realms.

Suggested Reading

Benson, H. (1997). Timeless Healing: The Power and Biology of Belief. Fireside Publishing.
Childre, D. & McCraty, R. (2001). Psychophysiological Correlates of Spiritual Experience. Biofeedback. 2001; 29(4):13-17.
DeFoore, B. (1991). Anger: Deal With It, Heal With It, Stop It From Killing You. Health Communications.
DeFoore, W. (2000). Anger Among Angels: Shedding Light on the Darkness of the Human Soul. Health Communications.
Fanning, P. (Ed.) & McKay, M. (Ed.) (2000). Family Guide to Emotional Wellness: Proven Self-help Techniques & Exercises for Dealing With Common Problems and Building Crucial Life Skills. New Harbinger Publications.
Lemonick, M. & Mankato, A. (2001). The Nun Study: How One Scientist and 678 Sisters are Helping Unlock the Secrets of Alzheimer's. In Time Magazine, Friday, May 18, 2001.
McCraty, R. & Childre, D. (2003). The Grateful Heart: The Psychophysiology of Appreciation. Chapter published in: The Psychology of Gratitude, edited by R. A. Emmons and M. E. McCullough. New York: Oxford University Press, in press.
Moore, T. (1994). Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life. Perennial.

William G. (Bill) DeFoore, Ph.D., president of the Institute for Personal and Professional Behavior, is a psychologist who specializes in individual, couple, and family therapy, and adjunct professor for Cooper Wellness Program. During four-, six-, or 13-day medically-based lifestyle enhancement programs participants learn the tools necessary to improve fitness levels, eat nutritionally, lose weight, and reduce stress. For more information, call 800-444-5192 or visit www.cooperaerobics.com.

Dr. DeFoore is also the author of several books, audiotapes and CD’s, including Anger: Deal With It, Heal With It, Stop It From Killing You.

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